


Everything is Changing (And I Don't Feel the Same)

by aspiringtoeloquence



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-06 19:52:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12217794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aspiringtoeloquence/pseuds/aspiringtoeloquence
Summary: In the aftermath of the fights with Thordak and Raishan, Vax sees how things are changing.





	Everything is Changing (And I Don't Feel the Same)

**Author's Note:**

> In my efforts to get more of my CR scribblings posted before the end of this campaign (some will, not all, I still have ~plans), here's a piece written right after the confrontation with Raishan under Emon -- a breath of a long rest in the mansion that didn't take place in canon. (Spoilers through episode 80, I believe, and mentions of canonical + reversed character death)  
> Sort of a counterpoint to 'Ruin', which was written to get the dread out. Sometimes change can be challenging.

Keyleth and Kima had shadowed Grog as he delivered Vex to her room in the mansion, while Pike and Vax ushered first Gilmore, then a strangely hyperactive Scanlan to their respective bedrooms. Vax wasn’t sure, having never actually died himself, but it seemed like death, on the whole, had varied effects on different people. 

He’d tried to go with Vex, but Scanlan had been leaning on him at the time, and with Keyleth’s assurances that the worst was past (and one of their remaining health potions in her hand, just to be safe), he hadn’t fought it. He didn’t know what words there even were to say to his sister ( _ you died, again, and nothing I could do would save you _ ) and his mind, tired with battle and repressed feeling, wasn’t even allowing himself to play through all the possibilities yet. 

He slips away from Scanlan as quickly as possible, though, leaving him to Pike’s tender mercies. He debates going back to his room, but he and his sister have seen enough battle to have a sort of ritual when one of them is badly injured. 

He’ll just make sure she’s settled, that’s all. When he sees Keyleth floating back to her room, clearly tired beyond measure, he skirts past his own door, leaving Keyleth to herself for a few minutes, and knocks instead on the door at the end of the hall. 

Vax knows that tomorrow the full impact of today will hit. Every single wrong step he made ( _ his fault, so much his fault _ ), every moment that he needed to be smarter, better and stronger ( _ he has failed them, he has failed Her, he has failed her _ ). 

Right now he just needs to see his sister breathing.

He is listening for a weak voice, his sister’s voice, but after only a short pause the door opens and Percy’s eyes blink at him from the doorway. 

It’s strange to see Percival without his glasses. That is his first thought. But when he looks past Percy’s shoulder he sees the spectacles on the nightstand, right next to where his sister is sitting against the headboard (Percy’s coat is draped over a nearby chair). Her armor has been removed, and she looks exhausted, but it’s nothing like when Percy died. She looks  _ alive _ , and like she just went through a tough battle, not like she was (apparently) dead only a few hours ago.

She smiles at him, and a dark part of Vax is so selfishly glad he was not awake to see that. 

“Brother,” Vex calls from across the room, “Percy was just –”

“I don’t want to know,” Vax says lightly, brushing past Percy and taking a few steps into the room “what he was just.” 

Vex rolls her eyes, and Percy clears his throat. 

“Perhaps I should –”

“Don’t be ridiculous, you two,” she instructs. “Or if you must, please be ridiculous in the foyer. I’m going to sleep.”

One foot is hanging off the bed, and Vax can see a large bruise on her ankle. “Get some rest, Stubby.”

“That’s the plan.” She takes a sip from a mug he hadn’t seen her holding, then grimaces. “Don’t tell Keyleth, but this tea is awful.” 

He manages a grin (that tea  _ is _ awful, even if Keyleth swears by it) and turns to leave, finding Percy still standing by the door, eyes still on Vex. 

Percy  _ was _ awake to see that, Vax remembers, and whatever part of him still harbors mixed feelings about their tinkerer ( _ you remind me of me, and yes, I know that is a bit of an insult _ ) remembers when Keyleth fell unconscious, when Gilmore bleeding in his arms.

It is difficult, sometimes, for him to remember that they have other people in their lives, now.  _ (I can help you in a lot of ways, but not every way) _ . 

“Time to go to bed, I think,” Vex’s voice is airy, deliberately so, but he hears the effort in it. “Trinket, attack your uncle.”

Trinket lifts his head from his paws from over by the magical fireplace, and growls half-heartedly in Vax’s general direction.

“I’m going,” he says finally, sliding to kiss her on the forehead. “Goodnight, Stubby.” He nods at Percy as he passes. Percy doesn’t look away from the bed, tilts his head slightly in acknowledgement, and after Vax has passed several more doors (Grog’s room, Percy’s room, next is his own) he hears Vex’s door click shut behind him.

He doesn’t look back to see if Percy has left her side. 

He knows better.


End file.
